Hi there. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You called my name from the train station the other day. I swore I heard my name as I was exiting, but it wasn’t until I was half a block away that I turned around.

So I guess that made me think of you, on top of the fact that I saw New Moon today and Jacob made me think of you. And lately, you’ve been swimming around in my head. I don’t even have a reason for all of this.

I guess I just want to see how you are doing. Are you doing okay? Have you been smiling a lot lately? I hope you have been. I hope life has been treating you well, too. You always try to be so tough on the outside but I know your heart is just as prone to accidents as mine. Sometimes, from your statuses, I can tell that you’re not so okay. I mean, it may be some small thing, but I wish I could make you feel better in some way.

Maybe what I’m trying to say is that I just kind of miss you. Everytime I’m sad, I think about what you would say to me if I told you about my problems. I imagine your encouraging words, your belief in me. When I didn’t believe in myself a while back, you’d tell me that if I didn’t believe in myself, nobody else will. You also told me to stop complaining and just go with it. You’d tell me that I was an amazing person, with an amazing smile that could light up the hearts of everyone else. That I have one of the kindest hearts. That I was special. That I was beautiful. That you’d never meet anyone like me. You made me feel like I could love myself. I felt like I was worth something because I had friends like you.

And lately I just feel like nothing. I feel like people don’t need or want me anymore. That I’m annoying and useless. That nobody would even care if I disappeared.

I know you would care, even though we no longer talk. That’s how amazing of a person you are. You have such a gentle, welcoming heart. You don’t care about how messed up and flawed I am. You would forgive me. You would look past all the stupid things I do or say.

Why aren’t people more like you?
Right now I miss you like crazy. I wish I could remember you more.
I hope to see you in my dreams, because I know you’d make everything go away.

Love, Emily